The Beginning of Everything

I really enjoyed Robyn's writing! I actually spent a lot of time just being impressed at how well she wrote from a boy's point of view, and also loving her for creating a teenage boy so filled with wisdom and insight, while still being just a typical kid. Not only did she so accurately capture teenage life (to the point of me laughing out loud feeling nostalgic for my corresponding high school memories), she has this magic way of writing a sentence that gives us history into the character's circumstances and showing us how they feel about it having turned out that way, all at once. (Deep breath after the longest sentence ever.) I felt an emotional connection to the very essence of who her characters are, from the start of the book. The literal beginning of everything for me.

The story is filled with cool things, like flash mobs and geocaching and sneaking into university libraries. Ezra loves her in a way that feels true, it feels magic and real and then suddenly, also completely meant to be. I spent two thirds of the book just loving all the characters, and holding my breath hoping I wouldn't have to hate one of them. (It turned out really well for me, it turns out.)

I loved that they all had their own thing. You know the 'supporting characters' by their humor and reactions, and not just their names and hobbies. I love that Cassidy being the mysterious outsider wasn't the biggest part of her place in Ezra's life. She was one of them, and then she wasn't. I loved that the 'nerds' were genuinely doing cooler things than the popular kids. (Um hello, those secret movie nights!) And yes, I always love when a character goes to church, or comes out and it's not a big deal to the story. Because duh.

This is one of the few books since reading Beautiful Creatures and The Wolves of Mercy Falls (Ohhh the feelings of warmth and hot-chocolate love that I have for those books..) where I found myself highlighting parts of a sentences, little phrases.. wisdom and poetry hidden between the narrative. It's such a precious thing, finding a book so wonderfully written, both in the story it's telling and the arrangement of the words it's using. (I collected the prettiness here)

Ps, here's two awesome words I learned from this book (and my trusty Kindle dictionary)
derision (ridicule or mockery)
and unencumbered (free of burden, either literally or emotionally.)

The Naturals

This book, to me.. is all lipstick stains and blood-soaked floors. It's long stares into the eyes of strangers, but feeling like you already know them. It's being intrigued by mysterious boys, and finding safety in others, It's a little bit The Mentalist, with the dark secret murder mystery that both haunts and fuels; and a little bit Rookie Blue, with the newbie divisions and police uniforms, and the little team that knows most of each other's secrets but not all the information behind their hurt. it's not knowing but thinking that you do.

I'd been reading Gillian Flynn books when I started this, so I might have a skewed sense, but I sometimes felt like everything I saw coming.. happened. She was giving clues and I was getting them.. Like in a predictable crime show. And I didn't like that. There were moments of figuring out, what the department is, who to trust, not knowing all her secrets or the choices she'll make. But I don't want to feel like that in a book, I want to always be.. gasping and twisty and excited. BUT THEN!

And this is totally not a spoiler but I have to say DAT PLOT TWIST THO! Damn baby gurl. JLynn you ROCKED it! (I get gansta when I'm tired, but I really did, there were gasps and there were feelings.) And it was totally worth any predictable moments!

This wonderful sweeping romantic gesture after everything happens, that just.. makes me want to.. Yes.

Like, I NEED the next books. NOW! 

The Summer I Turned Pretty

I was excited to read this book, I liked the idea of Belly measuring her life in summers. 
At first when I started this book I was like 'ohhh is this book just a love story, that's it? She has a crush. -That's the book? Meh.' so I stopped, and kept reading my twisted murder books, and books about girls who have secret psycho-analysis skills. But then, this morning I needed sweetness, and this book gave it all to me. 

I like that the boys all love her before she grew up and 'turned pretty' --it makes it all more meaningful, and the feelings more lasting. I liked when the boys asked “Would you rather live one perfect day over and over or live your life with no perfect days but just decent ones?” and I liked that Belly answered that she'd rather have the decent days, so she could keep being hopeful for a best day to come. I especially like that everyone calls her Belly.

Belly's mom has the greatest friendship with Susannah. It's just, it's everything. My heart broke when she said “Best friends are important. They're the closest thing to a sister you'll ever have.” They're the perfect pair, so balanced, and they're such a great support system for each other.

It's filled with summer moments, and stories of that bond you create growing up with boys.. Memories that made me giggle, and wish to be on summer holiday again, and meeting a cute boy at a bonfire (Who I pictured as Dorrit's new boyfriend) It's filled with flash backs to all the years before, all the reasons for nicknames and moments we don't talk about anymore.

It's all the happy moments of having a crush, the beauty of family. Inside jokes over the years, beach parties, old music. A kind of montage of old photographs, evenings of laughter and screaming at siblings. It's really happy, and sometimes disappointing.. Like summers at the sea can be.

And it ends hopefully, so I'm excited to read #2.. 

The Evolution of Mara Dyer

This book was a lot more 'Ohhh my wordd I love Noah!' Like, he's everything. But not in a silly way, he stands by Mara and it means the world. He is her rock, they trust each other. I like their relationship a lot, because it never seems too-soon or co-dependent, and it never seems teen-dramatic, even though it so easily could be. Michelle created them so perfectly, as individuals and for each other. And somehow she never loses that passion and chemistry between them. I might say it was even a little sexy..

This story, gahhh I loved it even more than the first book. It's.. Thrilling! And captivating. It's filled with twists and turns and chapters that end with me holding my breath (sometimes because I hope she gets to kiss Noah, and sometimes because MAJOR PLOT TWIST that I most definitely did not see coming.)

Michelle Hodkins takes you on this journey where, again you don't know whether Mara is actually getting more delusional or if her circumstance really is getting more twisted. It's exciting mostly because everything we read unfolds as Mara sees it and she is so lost and confused while she puts the pieces together. It's a beautiful story of trust and deception and passion and desperation. And mmm I do love the tragedy, the reality of psychiatric care and the supernatural aspects that Michelle so finely weaves into the book. I'd want to call it a psycho-thriller. Yeah. Is that a genre? That's what it is!

I'm being vague about the plot on purpose, because watching it unfold is most of the fun. It reminded me of The Lovely Bones every now and then, just because of how frightened I was sometimes. And again, felt like Gone Girl, with the second-guessing and not-knowing. She has flashbacks that were fields and carriages and rituals and old languages, that remind me of Reign. But also, and especially near the end, it felt a little like Dollhouse, or Catching Fire, where you begin to think someone is messing with her but you just can't figure out who or why or in which parts.. IT'S THE BEST!

The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer

(Fun intro fact: This started off intriguing and then it just got way too.. accurately PTSD for me. It was too close to home and too realistic for me to continue, and so I stopped reading it for a while. When I came back to it, I was so happy I did! I found the accurate portrayal to be beautiful and true and, an important part of understanding what Mara is going through.)

This book is thrilling and fun, there's a gorgeous British bad-boy-with-more-going-on-than-everyone-else-sees (how can you not love) and there's a complicated situation that Mara is trying to figure out. It was kinda cool that I had just finished Gone Girl, and started reading Stephen King's 'Carrie' at the same time as this one, because it's got aspects of both.

-You have no idea what's real and what's not, and there's an important and urgent mystery to be solved while making sure that, to the prying eyes and public, you look like everything is fine. And then, there's this potential supernatural aspect that you're wondering about while Mara discovers more of the real story and wonders deeper into what's been happening since the accident.

There's a moment, about three-quarters into the book where it's like 'Um, really Michelle? Unneccesary. Aligators, really? Why you gotta do me like dis.' BUT THEN IT ALL MAKES SENSE AND IT'S AMAZING. Seriously, just keep reading. All the twists that may have felt annoying with other characters or in another book, just WORKS in this one. So well! Cassie Clare is right, it is haunting and dreamlike.

This book was fun to read, a true adventure of love and fear and "whattt is happening?!" In her acknowledgments, Michelle Hodkin thanks some of my favourite authors for their support (*fangirls a little.. keeps reading*) and then ends with 'I can't wait to share what happens next' and I WAS LIKE BUT I NEED TO KNOW NOW MICHELLE! I'm lucky it's already out, I rushed to get the second one immediately, it's that good.

Where Rainbows End (Love, Rosie)

I found this book in my favourite second-hand bookstore. It was a soft and well-loved book, with that sweet smell of old book, mmm. Its pretty cover and romantic storyline meant I couldn't leave without taking it home with me. And I'm so happy I did, it's the sweetest! **I later found out it's also being made into a movie, so while I was reading it, two of the actors I've been obsessed with recently were filming the story! Which yes, gave me even more feels!

The story is long, but in a comforting way. It's filled with all kinds of love, over years and through different lives. It's filled with sweet moments and difficult choices and that always-hopeful belief that Rosie and Alex are meant for eachother. It's the kind of story that you get lost in, and never really want to leave. I giggled at the emails they send and the children as they grow up, and Iawhhhed and noooo-ed and, so many feelings. I marked so many pages that were just, perfect butterfly moments.

Mostly, it's the kind of story I know I'll read many times over the years, because I'll see different things every time. There's everything from childhood crushes and teenage could-we-last-forevers, to there's 'she's engaged, I missed my chance' and all the hardships of marriage. The story tells of the magic and hope that friendship can be, and of the beauty that a shared life can be.

Here's a picture from the movie set, I love it. 

Three quotes I loved: 
“I've learned that home isn't a place, it’s a feeling.”

“Our life is made up of time; our days are measured in hours, our pay measured by those hours, our knowledge is measured by years. We grab a few quick minutes in our busy day to have a coffee break. We rush back to our desks, we watch the clock, we live by appointments. And yet your time eventually runs out and you wonder in your heart of hearts if those seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years and decades were being spent the best way they possibly could. In other words, if you could change anything, would you?” 

“You deserve someone who loves you with every single beat of his heart, someone who thinks about you constantly, someone who spends every minute of every day just wondering what you’re doing, where you are, who you’re with, and if you’re OK. You need someone who can help you reach your dreams and protect you from your fears. You need someone who will treat you with respect, love every part of you, especially your flaws. You should be with someone who could make you happy, really happy, dancing on air happy.” 

And the movie poster: 

Eleanor & Park

In the book, Park says “Eleanor was right. She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn't supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something.” and my goodness does this book make you feel SO MANY THINGS!

Rainbow (I loved her a thousand times before even reading this, for her name) wrote this like an art piece. It's rough and moody, honest and captivating, sweet and filled with deep love, and its colours fill every little piece of your heart.

I love that it's set in the 80s. I love the song lyrics and band names, the cassette tapes and the landline phones. I love that Eleanor and Park are broken in their own delicate way, but that neither tries to change or redefine the other. Their love is a 'let me learn you, I want all of you' kind of thing. And it never feels like they're trying to fix each other, because they don't see any part of the other as broken.

I thought this was going to be another cute love story set in a difficult-to-be-together situation, but it was nothing like I could ever imagine. The way Rainbow writes Eleanor's home life and internal thoughts, is more intimately realistic than my heart could take.

And while this book is filled with the heartbreaking, harsh realities of life, it is also filled with thousands of tiny adorable moments of discovered love. Wildly vivid descriptions of moments shared, and observations about each other that sound like whispers. They're entranced by each other. I love that she smells like vanilla, and the way she is one of the kids and set apart from them at the same time but loves them completely. I love the role that Park's parents and their past plays into Park and Eleanor's relationship and future.

I really feel like I'm playing down the cuteness of the couple, but oh gosh you need to know they're adorable! Their story is filled with giggles and electric touches, and kisses that they never want to end. Their conversations are filled with life, strong opinions, song lyrics and love for other worlds. It's a sweet, sweet strong love that will make your heart sing, and you'll find yourself giggling into the book cover.

Eleanor and Park are in high school, and share a brief time together, but the love feels real, and mature and heavy in a way that can only make you feel light. Dealing with obstacles simply by being there for each other and in each other's hearts.

Wow, I think I have said 'each other' a million times here. Just, read the book. Like I will, a hundred more times this year and for many years to come. It's a book that leaves you with the feeling that you just read something incredibly important. It doesn't feel like just a story, it feels like you lived through something courageous and hopeful.

I love the way John Green ends his review of this book (I just found it while looking at fan art of the story) and so I will end mine with his words:

Early in the novel, Park’s English teacher asks him why “Romeo and Juliet” has survived 400 years. With Eleanor looking on, Park says: “Because people want to remember what it’s like to be young? And in love?” After a moment, he adds, “Is that right?”

It is. “Eleanor & Park” reminded me not just what it’s like to be young and in love with a girl, but also what it’s like to be young and in love with a book.

If I ever get to meet Rainbow, I'd want to give her a hug, and a very simple, sincere 'Thank you.' for sending a gift this beautiful, with so much heart, into the world.